Greetings, abandoned blogger. Jasmine has really been on the rocks for the past few months, really. The majority of October and half of November was spent on sleepless nights thinking of "the greater perhaps" and ugly crying due to your usual early 20s existential crises. The other half of November and most of December were spent trying to get my shit together and focusing on the good parts in life - like, friends and expensive cocktails, alfonso, christmas shopping and everything that makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Needless to say, I am thankful for opportunities, choices, being blessed enough to be around people who have my best interest at heart and having the patience and self awareness to somehow rationally get through rough times.

For the past year, I have learned how to let go of trivial things and focus more on things i have actual control over. The bipolar bears haven't been that terrible to me but i might just be saying this because i am currently in a stable phase, stable enough type down thoughts in a semi-collegiate way (well.. shit.. i hope.. my writing and vocabulary has greatly deteriorated from spending most of my free time snoozing off instead of writing or reading or learning anything new). Stable enough to to say yes to an erratic schedule for the next few days with minimal planning and just mostly with a headstrong "come at me bro, i'll take you" attitude - just like a prepubescent boy - instead of saying no to everyone and settling in my bed in a fetal position while listening to Hozier.

Going back on things that i am thankful for, I am thankful for experiences that have enlightened me to slow down and take it easy. I have only been out of college for almost a year, only 21 years old, only on my first job, only.... still a fetus when it comes to the corporate world. I need to take it easy and take it down a notch a bit. I have always been drunkenly ambitious and this year was all about believing in God's timing. Everything is in His perfect timing. Ripeness. Same goes for boys, but i dont want to go deep into that, i'll save that for next time, maybe i'll write a prose or add another number to "Reckless".

Ah, see there you go blogger I just got really up close and personal with you, i hope this takes away the feeling of abandonment (and my palpable guilt).

Addycakes, out.